Quinn Minute – Valentine’s Day
by Rix Quinn
Millions celebrate February 14 by giving flowers, candy, and cards to express romantic love. And some buy presents for their spouses, too.
Yes, Valentine’s Day offers ladies the opportunity to declare affectionate thoughts with a lovely card. Most men, however, know they should spend a lot of money, or else they might experience discomfort.
In ancient times, prehistoric man gave his girlfriend a practical gift – like a goat – to show admiration. His girlfriend and her family could feed from it. This was called “milking a compliment.”
It’s speculated that Valentine’s Day originated 2500 years ago as Lupercalia, a festival to honor the god Lupercus with a lottery. Young ladies put their names in a giant container, and young men randomly drew a partner.
At the end of a year – if the man wasn’t either married or dead – he could draw for a different partner. About this same time, the card-giving tradition started too. Postage was really cheap back then, because air mail was delivered by pigeon.
Today, just about everybody celebrates Valentine’s Day. Elementary school children exchange cards with classmates.
Middle schoolers write anonymous notes to their secret crushes. Older teens might bestow presents, kisses, or mononucleosis.
If you’re a guy, here are three hints:
- Buy your girlfriend a corsage.
- Pick out a real mushy card for her. Look for romantic messages full of words like “sweet,” “love,” or “honey.” Avoid rhymes that contain the words “contagious,” “alien,” or “burp.”
3. Finally, take her to a nice restaurant for dinner. But go indoors, don’t use the drive-through.
