GrandParent Nation My Day

By Dr. J. Ester Davis

Picture (An 88 Year Old Raising an 8 Year Old)

GRANDPARENTS Raising Grandchildren

It is no secret that grandparents.… have been the first choice for childcare, permanently or part-time when parents could not fulfill their lawful and loving obligations. It was quite the norm.  We coined a new generational term when ‘single mothers’ started paying for reasonable daycare while raising their children with grandparents just filling in the gaps. We recognized quite easily the ‘sandwich generation’, which is three generations in a home. We, as a nation, kept a strict watch on the decline of two-parent households when the divorce rate climbed to 44%, now holding steady at over 52%.  But in the last twenty(20)years, the share of children living with at least one grandparent has increased by 36 %, a substantial increase.

The increase in children living with their grandparents is accompanied by a decline in children living in two-parent households. The situation here is children often come into these living situations as a result of negative shocks, such as parental inability to care for a child, death of a parent, incarceration, and many other crises.  These children are more likely to be living in poverty and facing multiple hardships.

Last week I organized and attended a ‘listening working lunch’ with grandmothers raising grandchildren.  The focus was on awareness, benefits, guardianship, and legal aid. Some of our friends in the legal world attended as our guests.  I was reminded of the time I had to ‘step in’ with one of my teenage grandsons just to get him through high school. He was 15 years old and wanted to stay “at his school” and play football with his team. We struggled with situations during his freshman and sophomore years.  In year three, his junior year, I talked with a counselor at Lamar High School in Arlington, Texas.  I knew my situation could not possibly be an isolated case in this school of 4,000 students.  The counselor advised that they had a ‘location counselor’ and this was 8 years ago.   Adjustments were made, and my grandson was placed in a class mates’ home with one of the coaches.  He graduated from high school, went to Baylor University, and is now an airman in the  U.S. Air Force in Omaha, Nebraska.  Everything worked out. He is proud of me and I am proud of him.  Most of us cannot imagine a preschooler all over again at this point in our lives.  Now, to see this situation more transparent, Latino, Black, and Asian grandchildren are more likely to live with black grandparents.

We plan to keep these awareness meetings going.  Follow us and stay with us in this space. Many questions were raised. Case situations were shared on how grandparents navigate safety nets now in place that were not designed with grandparents in mind.  Then there is obtaining public assistance, legal custody or guardianship, where to go, and multiple complex bureaucracies.

Children is Our Greatest Asset!

EsterDavis2000@gmail.com   214.376.9000