Are You Raising One of the Next Generation of Hoodlums

by Dr. Joyce Willard Teal

REINFORCING GOOD CHOICES

During this period when school is out during the winter holidays, take advantage of the increased opportunity you have as your son’s parent to talk with him about choices and consequences. Although this should be an ongoing dialogue so that your son knows what your expectations are in this regard, this vacation period provides a good time to discuss choices and the consequences of making poor choices and the rewards of making good choices. It is important for your son to understand just how important this is. Of equal significance is assuring that your son is aware of how you feel about the importance of him making good choices.

Parents frequently wait until their sons have made poor choices and are faced with the consequences before having serious discussions with them concerning the importance of good choices.  But I want to encourage parents to be proactive.

Strike up a casual conversation with your son. Find out what he thinks about good choices. Ascertain some examples from him of a good choice in a specific situation. For example, you might present him with the following hypothetical situation: your son, Michael, a nice kid in his first year of high school, was planning to ride to a school dance (held in the school’s gym) with his friend, Darren, who is sophomore. When Darren came to pick him up, Michael noticed that he wasn’t driving his beat-up Mustang, but he just thought maybe Darren’s parents had allowed him to drive one of their other cars. However, when Michael walked out to the car, he discovered that it wasn’t Darren at the wheel, but someone he didn’t know.

Ask your son what he would do when he discovered that it wasn’t Darren at the wheel, but someone he didn’t know. Stay silent and listen carefully to his response. If he has made a poor choice in this hypothetical situation, make it clear to him that a good choice would have been for Michael to decline the ride, go back into his house and ask his parents to drop him off.

Make sure that your son knows that it is a poor choice to ride in a car with a stranger at the wheel. When an unknown person is driving, you have no way of ascertaining, until possibly too late, whether or not the person is a good or a poor driver, is under the influence of some unknown substance, is bull-headed; a reckless driver, etc.

Having frequent conversations with your son about good choices and poor choices provide him food for thought before he plunges, headlong, into situations that can be detrimental to him presently, and to his future.

REMEMBER: Your son is responsible for his choices; there is no escaping that this is so, and you are responsible for guiding him so that he becomes aware of the importance of making good choices and of the fact that you have the expectation that he will think before he makes his choices. The choice to be proactive is in your hands! WHAT WILL BE YOUR CHOICE?

Special note: Readers are invited to visit Dr. Teal’s website at www.untealthen.com.