Holidays Can Hurt

by Linda Mitchell, CEO
Black and Clark Funeral Home

Part I

Holiday parties, sounds of merry music, festive foods and decorated homes are a welcome scene during the Christmas season, but for many, it can be a stark reality of the physical absence of a loved one due to death.

Statistics reveal that from Thanksgiving to New Years, the rate of suicide, homicide and other types of deaths peak to its’ highest.  It is the time of year where those who are spending their first holidays without that special loved one struggle the most.

The moment of comfort and consolation for families should not stop at the site of the interment, but there are stages and phases to grief, and the holiday season is a significant phase.

Over the 100 years of Black and Clark funeral home taking care of families with excellence, we know a little something about grief.  We would like to recommend some Holiday Grief Nuggets that can help you and your family continue to focus on the celebration of your loved one’s life, even during this difficult holiday season.

1. Keep the party going.  As hard as it may be, keep the party going by remembering the special nuisances and uniqueness of the loved one who is physically not present this Holiday Season.  This is the time to create new memories so that the legacy of life lives on.  Plan a special event where everyone brings a picture and tells their favorite story about them.

2. Keep your Faith strong.  Write a special prayer acknowledging their legacy while having a candle lighting ceremony.  As a family, make a decision to worship together on a certain day.  This is great way to keep children involved and understanding that Faith is an important part to the grieving process.

3. Keep the Legacy Alive.   It is important to get input from family and friends so that everyone will feel included in celebrations.  Involve Children in service opportunities that their loved one was may have been passionate about.  In lieu of shopping for gifts, consider giving legacy gifts to others. Establish legacy traditions like serving at a homeless shelter, or donating coats to needy children and families in the name of your loved ones or by donating to another grieving family who may be in the beginning of the grief cycle. This is also a very healthy way for children to learn to live a life of service while remaining connected to the legacy of their loved one.

At the end of the day, holidays can hurt – but if looked at from a perspective of faith, you will make it through.